Ched Evans is about as welcome as a kick to the groin, Gerrard is retiring in the comfort of the MLS and that gym membership you bought on January 1st is more of a waste of money than City buying Wilfred Bony. All caught up? On the pitch, it was the F.A Cup 3rd round last weekend. Here’s a quick roundup.
Blyth Spartans 2-3 Birmingham City
Whatever the Birmingham City squad did in a former life to get an away tie in Blyth in the F.A Cup 3rd round must have been bad. A double from Robbie Dale, Blyth’s top scorer in case you’ve been living on another planet (or outside of Blyth), gave Spartans a shock 2-0 lead. City though scored three goals in six minutes after the break to ruin everyone’s fun and send the Blyth players back to their day jobs.
Chelsea 3-0 Watford
So apparently there’s a conspiracy against Chelsea according to Mr Mourinho. The only conspiracy going on at Chelsea is how they get away with breaching financial fair play rules, persistent diving and intimidating referees, but hey that’s none of our business. A few long range efforts on Sunday added gloss to the flattering 3-0 scoreline against Watford, with Willian, Remy and Zouma getting the goals.
AFC Wimbledon 1-2 Liverpool
Gerrard. Akinfenwa. Akinfenwa. Gerrard. We get it, Akinfenwa is a Liverpool fan and this is Gerrard’s last realistic chance of a meaningful trophy. But since when has football been all about fairy tales and sentimentality? All this nonsense shifted the focus away from yet another laughably shambolic performance from Mignolet. Luckily for him, Gerrard had already put the Scousers in front before Akinfenwa capitalised on his dodgy handling from a Wimbledon corner. Stevie was there again though to score a late free-kick and keep the ‘will he/won’t he win a trophy?’ drama going for at little while longer.
So go on, will Gerrard lift a trophy this season?
Yeovil 0-2 Man United
When Di Maria and Falcao left the sunny paradises of Madrid and Monaco respectively and signed for United, I doubt they pictured travelling to Yeovil on a Sunday evening in January. As funny as it was to see Rooney repeatedly get called a dick by West Country folk, it would have been even funnier if Manchester United had lost to League 1’s bottom club. Di Maria chipped in nicely after Herrera banged one delicious volley in on the turn from 30 yards to ensure no such upset occurred. Yeovil did well though, considering that their entire team, stadium and training ground is probably worth less than Rooney’s left shin pad.
QPR 0-3 Sheffield United
Expect to see ‘Arry giving a lot of interviews out of his car window this January as he frantically tries to replace the pitiful excuses that call themselves QPR defenders. Take away the 20,000 spectators and add a pitch that is 1% grass, a one-eyed official with arthritis and an obese keeper whose prematch snack consists of two fags and a Mars bar, and it could have passed for Sunday-league football. Two of United’s goals were QPR mistakes and the other came courtesy of a generous sized hole in their defence.
Man City 2-1 Sheffield Wednesday
Considering that the only major absentees for City were Aguero, Hart and Kompany, Wednesday can pat themselves on the back for not succumbing to a similar 7-0 thrashing suffered at the Etihad in the League Cup. The visitors even had the cheek to take a first half lead when Atdhe Nuhiu finished off a break away. In the end however, Milner scored two, including the winner in stoppage time to send City through. Although, after spending an inordinate amount of oil money on the likes of Toure, Silva, Nasri and Navas, to only just beat Sheffield Wednesday is like bragging that you are more popular than Katie Hopkins…it just doesn’t really count for anything.